At the end of the day, everyone dies. All that you fought for, all the mental gymnastics you went through to justify why you never did X, Y or Z, and why those Other people managed to do X, Y and Z, it’s all just playing candy crush on your cell phone: a way to waste time and avoid your truth. While BMI is irrelevant, being fat is not. If you didn’t judge yourself as being so, you won’t even be writing. Setting up a straw boss to distract from the fact you’re struggling with your health isn’t a solution, it’s a distraction. Get to work, listen to your own conscience, and focus on your health and body image issues. Become a professional you.